The thing is we all change over time. We might not realise it but even our cells are changing minute by minute.
When we are children things happen and we carry these experiences both good and bad within us. Sometimes we revisit the past images, memories, feelings and sometimes we shut them out. What we do not want is to feel pain or emotional stress again. Its unpleasant and can make us feel like we are right back there in that moment.
As we experience personal growth as we relinquish old patterns and make way for new ways of being we might feel lighter or less locked in to an automatic response way of being.
When our partner says something to us that might have triggered an emotion before like shame, sadness or anger we might notice that as we have recognised our ‘pattern’ right there from that recognition comes a tiny moment of choice. It’s all in the pause.
Whereas before we might of reacted immediately… now we can take the pause, breathe and respond. It is powerful and it is also empowering.
Many writers talk about ego. What is it exactly? Sometimes I refer to it as the primitive brain. That part of our brain that looks for triggers in our environment that require a fight, flight or freeze response. This is the part of our brain that is designed for protection. We need this part it is required for our survival.
The thing is though that it can get caught up sometimes so that for example, fear becomes a response to many stimuli in our environment and we notice that this response becomes a frequent pattern and we also may notice that it is in the way of us moving forward.
There is power in awareness though and once we see this we can take steps to move THROUGH it and reclaim our power with it.
So if you notice and old pattern that is tripping you up maybe having you hold back in relationships or a lack of confidence at work for example you can take back your power:
- Recognise these moments when fear dominates rather than love. Use AWARENESS to take these responses from automatic pilot to awareness.
- You can recognise these old responses because they will have you react with defensiveness, judgement, denial and ‘rightness’ (defending that you are ‘right’.
- You can seek support from a coach or counsellor to help you learn how to powerfully choose new ways of responding.
- You can research resourceful ways of responding and practice these yourself.
Life is an interesting journey.
Take the power in each moment and live your life as the precious gift that it is.