Preciousness can be lost in the moment when our head becomes full of the past, of superfluous things like house dirt and untidiness…. oh my goodness would you not LOVE a housecleaner for the MESS in your head sometimes???

Those thoughts that BING you awake at 3 am? Recently I had one… the night after our 2 youngest’s Year 12 Graduation… oh the sadness woke me up… of another child growing up and moving on….. leaving home…

I spent my LIFE keeping them together…at the shops…. counting 4 heads… are they safe… are they here?

And now… 2 have left and 1 soon to go…. Seriously how does one make one’s way through that pain/joy? The soul becomes SO confused when we feel those two emotions simultaneously and for a parent that seems to be a regular kind of thing…..

I LOVE YOU. I am SO overjoyed for you to have your own life, to grow in independence to make mistakes , to learn to support yourself financially, to learn to drive SAFETY…. to live LONG so I never have to feel true grief of losing you…

When you leave home I WILL GRIEVE… and this grief I KNOW to be VERY deep. However…. I am grateful that you are HERE still… on this planet somewhere… and I can call you and talk with you and laugh with you…

A mothers heart…. oh how deep it is… how sensitive… how loving….

The only way through grief is THROUGH…. and in the same way I BIRTHED you …. I will let you go… I will surrender to your independence and soothe my aching heart….

My baby’s grow up….. they stand tall and look down on their small mother ( well… I now FEEL small suddenly)…

I will cry… I will hurt… but through all the unbearably deep longing for you …

I will LOVE you FREE…. I have no idea HOW… and yet I know I will.. because my love for you is so much greater than anything

I have ever known…