I offered a 30 day Online Giving Retreat this month. A simple Facebook Group. The idea was that each day we would post what we had given for the day or alternatively what we had received.
What was interesting was that people found it hard to post. They said it felt like they were blowing their own horn. As I observed this struggle, I was grateful for the gift of this learning…. that people (all women in this group) struggled to share all that they give…..
This has brought me to pondering this exploration of giving and acknowledging ourselves for what we give and struggling with acknowledging ourselves and knowing that giving gratitude for what others give us – is SO much easier.
Then, uncovering that we can give. As yet as mothers/women, we can give until our cup runs dry and this can also open up feelings of resentment, of feeling some invisibility and the feeling of our need to be humble to not say too much about what we do for fear of bragging, skiting…. and so on…….
So this seems to be our challenge. We love to give. We give in humility. Sometimes we get tired of giving even if just for a moment and we may resent or feel resentment, rather than speak our truth at times…. and our truth might start with ” I need…. please…”
Asking for help or support can be so difficult too. We can give and respond with love and care when asked for help but asking for ourselves can be hard. Why is this? Is it that we have a belief that we need to do everything for ourselves? Is it that we have a belief that we are weak if we ask for help? Or is it just that our brain is not used to this behaviour called asking for help? Its kind of interesting because we drop everything to support others and struggle to ask the same for ourselves.
So where does this leave us?
Ive come to see that somewhere it has roots in truth. Being present to the truth even if we cannot speak it out loud. To know our own hearts. To pause, to go within and to be very very present to the truth within. To what we really feel. To what we really want. And in doing this to be very aware and conscious of not JUDGING ourselves.
And in place of inner judgement and criticism. To allow. To embrace. To accept all of ourselves. Every little last cell. Embracing all of our feelings…. allowing our feelings…. breathing through them… and loving ourselves for what we give as we would love someone else who gives…