It is often said that we as women are more suited to ‘feminine flow’ than structure masculine plans. All my life I have attempted to squeeze myself into the structured life because somewhere I got the message that that was the ‘right’ way.
Raising 4 children kind of had me in a place though, where I found I could just not function that way… even though I definitely gave it my best shot. When I tried to be super structured if something got in the way, I got STRESSED because I had not stuck to the perfect plan. School mornings were like this… no matter how I attempted to time structure with specific tasks for the children at specific times… it just did not work! In fact it WTS. (Guess that acronymn)
I know personalities are all different so for you the structured, planned approach might be best for you. And for others like me, it might just leave you with the feeling that you are not succeeding, or not doing it ‘right’.
I could manage some things, like a bit of structure in the laundry with one child, one shelf for clean clothes and dinner at 6pm with baths beforehand.
Nowadays, when it comes to being creative though, such as creating retreats or group events the structure just feels like I am trying to squeeze myself into a box.
Back to the Heart
When we follow source or Spirit or own own inner guidance… though, you know that place I speak of often.. the heart then something else emerges. I find my days slow down. I feel more free.
This is because our heart leads us better than our brain. Our brain is often the place of over thinking and analysing and questioning. Its the primitive brain that takes us time and time again to fight, flight, freeze.
Our heart though, ‘knows’. Do you remember making a decision at any time that for you there was just no doubt? You answered yes before you even had time to think about it and it worked out great?
The heart feels, the brain thinks. They are different intelligences with different purposes. The heart holds our values. What we value as truly important.
For me… the idea of feminine flow finally resolved when I realised that to be in feminine flow meant … to be relaxed inside. So if I felt contracted I was trying too hard and not letting go – to allow guidance to come in. If I was in this state then the times for structure… well they flowed too and everything interweaved in a magical way.
So , its not structure or no structure at the cross roads where we stand and choose… it is going with the flow and allowing structure when it FEELS right inside, in our heart where wisdom resides.
And the indicator of trying too hard and forcing that which cannot be forced is that feeling of severe constriction. Like we cannot breathe. Nothing is created when we hold our breath.
Its kind of like when we are ‘taught’ how to meditate… and we are given 21 steps to get it right. Not much flow there.
So… what I also found was it was about trust. Me… trusting myself. Trusting myself that when the time was right the answers would come and that when I allowed my intuition to guide me things pretty much took on a different energy all together and the anxious feelings I had been living with kind of just went quiet.
And… just when I became aware of the quiet… little things in my external world began to change too.
So… how is it for you?
In the simplest form… here goes:
- Connect with heart through breath, in and out easily, effortlessly
- Feel into the heart, connect with what is important
- Release contraction and allow expansion
- Trust. Trust yourself. Trust Spirit.